I've always loved travelling with these 2 and this was a great "last trip" before they flew the coop. We were soooooo grateful to my Pop for inviting us for a family visit to paradise.

We were home for just a few days and the Boy Child launched himself into the world and headed to the Big(ger) City to chase basketball and college dreams with friends.
​

Then I went to Denver to attend the Outdoor Retailer Summer Market Show for work.

So much cool stuff and such a fun city! The whole thing was inspirational and I ate enough good for for 14 people. The street art scene is also fantastic!

While I was there, my hometown caught on fire, which was awful and scary and traumatizing. 

The weeks of toxic smoke in the air, the loss of so many beautiful places and the feeling of communal shock were awful.. 

Thankfully our home was fine, but that wasn't the case for about 1000 other houses that burned.

But soon, it was time to help the Girl Child launch into her next college chapter in sunny So Cal. That Girl is gonna fly!

Then, this magical thing happened...

To celebrate life and Love, my SweetHeart and I went to London and Paris~ which was the most romantic and wonderful and amazing adventure. It was the first trip to Europe for both of us, and I'm so glad we got to go together. I LOVE adventuring with this guy!
​

Last, but not least, I decided to participate as a designer in Redding Fashion Week.

That was a great creative challenge filled with lots of learning and just as much seam ripping along with a few hot glue burns as I attempted to teach myself hatmaking~ which is the most fun ever! (The hatmaking, not the burns..)

In the end, I loved the collection I created, and my models ROCKED the vintage look. ​

So, that's been what I've been up to this summer, which may explain why I took some time off writing. 

But, autumn is here and as I move into finding my new rhythm for the season, writing and connecting with my people are high up on my list of important things. I've missed it, and I'm back!

What was your summer like? Hopefully full of good things! Let me know in the comments below~ and if you're not already on my newsletter list, sign up now!

Facebook is great at a lot of things, but reliably sharing isn't one of them, and I'd like to make sure we can actually connect directly. 

Until Next Time~ Lots of Love ~ Talk to you Soon!

It’s almost June and the days of summer will soon be here. That means vacation time combined with sweltering hot weather.

Lazy days of summer can be a wonderful change in the family rhythm, but too much time trapped inside together, especially when your norm isn’t seemingly endless amounts of unstructured time together, well….

The transition can be a bit rough.

A lot of parents start off the season with fresh excitement and dreams of family vacations and laughter.

Sadly, within a few weeks, there are fights and complaints of “I’m bored” that leave all of the parental units longing for autumn and the structure of kids back in school.

In my house house, where school wasn’t a thing until the older started community college classes at 15 and the younger started charter school classes at 12, we've had more of an ever changing rhythm than a firm structure.

But still, with all the free time of summer combined with the oppressive heat found in a place that feels like the surface of the sun by July, well... 

Tempers just seem to rise with the temperatures making it a home full of sweaty, snapperheads.

So, how can you happily cohabitate with your family at home all the time this summer without wanting to strangle each other on a daily basis?

For the best advice, I turned to people who are used to spending lots and lots of time together:

Homeschooling Families.

I posed the question to my local homeschooling group, and got a variety of great ideas on how to survive the summer months, and really any extended time you have with your pack.

Miciah who has 2 kids at home says “What helps our family is having a space for each person to call their own and everyone respecting the household basic rules.

She adds, “Sometimes reminders are good when life's circumstances have changed. Standard, sit down family talks are established so that when something is amiss, it can be dealt with before issues arise.”

Miciah’s family also takes advantage of “lots of outdoor fun, even if it's just sprinklers or kiddie pool in the yard. We keep reading happening too, reading outside on nice nights with kids.”

As a mother of 2 boys, Jessica finds that keeping them active is key.

“I kick them out of the house a lot and they fight much less.

We have a pool, so we're lucky to be able to spend 75% of the summer in water. On the flip-side, lots of physical fun means exhaustion, so we also have rest time.”

The family also continues homeschooling during the summer, so just like the adults, the kids in the family still have work to do.

“Honestly, the heat and how often we go camping is the only thing that really changes during the summer. I love that about this lifestyle!”

Josie has 4 boys and will admit, “Life is crazy!”

She recommends avoiding hangry children (or parents) while also shunning a hot kitchen by planning easy meals.

“Think cheese sticks, salami, and fruit for lunch or snacks. Pasta salads and BBQ for dinner.”

 She adds,  “Sometimes kids get picky in the summer because it's too hot to eat heavy and hot meals. I find it makes everyone's lives easier if we keep it simple.” 

Her family takes advantage of the local library and it’s amazing summer reading program, noting “We can easily kill several hours there.”

They’ve also found it worthwhile to invest in a family pass to the local aquatic center, going  regularly in the hottest, and often crankiest, time of the day.

While they enjoy having fun things to do, she tries to avoid too many set activities or organized sports that create a rigid schedule.

“Summer is a time of relaxing, not rushing from one hot practice to another.”

Josie added, “One day our kids won't be able to enjoy summer anymore. Let them now. Go find a creek away from the hustle of life and just chill. Explore. Let them be kids. I guarantee they will have way more fun.

Diana has a whopping 11 kids. Yes, you read that right.

The oldest few are out of the house, but there are still a whole lotta little people running around her home, and lemme tell you~ she rocks it.

One of her top tools? Meal planning. “Let them help do that. Then, they are more invested in your day at home.”

Another thing she didn’t mention, but you can tell within 5 minutes of being around her people~ they like each other. They spend time together, working and playing and they kind of have it down.

And... I’m not really sure how she does it but they somehow manage to have less clutter than we had in a house with just 3 teens.

They keep it simple. Anyway~ getting off topic here, but I really think the lack of stuff under foot helps keep people more relaxed. (It’s a theory anyway~ I haven’t tried it myself…)

Amy has her boys do a list of chores every morning in the summer before they can go on electronics.

Naphtali also advises limiting screen time. “The more time my kids spend watching movies and playing videos games the more they fight and bicker!”

Kristi agrees. “When our TV was broken, within 2 days my son said it was the best thing that ever happened.”

They get along much better when they don't have screen time - although they don't want to say it because they like it.”

She adds, “When I take it away totally, they'll fight more the next day, and then turn to playing by the second day. It also makes a difference what shows they are watching....

Me limiting my time on technology and being present with them is another key component.”

I definitely agree with everyone on finding balance with screens. I’ve seen them increase short attention spans and dissatisfaction (not just in kids~ in myself as well!)

I know as a parent, it’s easy to be judgy about kids and their devices, but I’m just as guilty and actually put restrictive controls on my own phone so I can’t “accidentally” waste time mindlessly scrolling.

Kristi also asked her 6 year old what helps her get along with her brother better and she said, "Eating healthy food”.

Wise words from that young lady! Kristi notes “It’s so true and not even what I was going to write, but it's key. My kids do much better on whole foods and no sugar.”

The food theme has come up so many times, and we all know it’s not a coincidence. Food really can make a difference~ especially good food.

Her daughter also mentioned the importance of quality time, and Kristi encouraged learning about the 5 Love Languages so that you can know and speak to each other in ways that are most likely to be heard.

“We have to be intentional with it, making sure everyone feels loved.”

Kristi concluded her family gets along better when they have time out in nature and play dates with friends and notes. “When there are times of conflict, one thing we do to shift the atmosphere is play music.”

Mikki, who has one grown and one nearly grown girl recalls the importance of teaching her kids to get along, rather than just trying to find ways to keep them apart.

“I always told them that "a house divided will fall" and since there are only 4 in our family, if 2 are in conflict that's half the house!

We each took turns choosing an activity per week. We may not always like the choice of the other person, but that's part of the lesson as well.

Since her family liked to read, having good reading material helped, along with good family friendly movies to watch.

“I can say that the time I took with them in their younger years has truly helped them be life-long friends.”

And that’s what we’d probably all like to hope for with our families~ that even when they are grown and we don’t have to live together, we still like each other enough to want to hang out together.

I hope this has given you some good ideas to get through summer. Who knows, maybe you’ll like it so much, you won’t want to send them back to school in August?

Either way, good luck, and enjoy your family!

If you found this helpful, please share it with a friend, or better yet, on Facebook!

And if you have any tips on not killing each other over the summer, please leave them in the comments below!

Have fun!

​

As I crammed what I hoped were the last of my things into my car to hit the road with my family, my kids waited~ semi patient, and refraining from rolling eyes and sighing.

They'd already loaded their stuff and were ready for whatever was ahead in our journey.

As per usual, that started with waiting for me.

This scene has played out a million times with my pack, and in every one of them, I realize just how grateful I am to have adventurous offspring.

They can pack their bags, deal with whatever they forgot to bring, and roll with the unexpected, whether it’s food choices or places to sleep.

Of course at their ages, I’d seriously question my parenting if I still needed to pack their bags or they threw fits about not liking what was for lunch.

What I’m actually happy about here is not just that they're competent, but that they’re also curious and open to learning from whatever new and different things they experience along the journey.

They’re ready to check out the world.

They are explorers.

To me, having children who know how to travel was definitely one of the most important lessons from our homeschooling years. I actually think it’s up there with reading as a basic part of a well rounded education.

Of course, I think reading is really, really, REALLY important, and I’m not diminishing it at all, or suggesting any kind of "We don't need no fancy book learnin" mentality. 

Obviously, reading is fundamental and a basic understanding of how to do it is pretty well required to get by in modern American society. I love books and we've read a bazillion of them as a family, okay?

The thing is, that not everyone is going to actually enjoy reading, nor will everyone be particularly skilled with it. Still, we make (or encourage, depending on your school of thought) kids learn to read because we know they will benefit throughout their lives.

Hopefully, the lessons will be fun, but either way, we know it will come in handy and we focus on helping them figure it out.

The more important we think something is, the more we work to incorporate it into our lives, and as a culture, we seem to have deemed reading as pretty important.

That said, to me, knowing how to travel is pretty important too.

I guess I should specify, I mean that learning how to travel without being a whiner, complaining, self absorbed butthead or high maintenance joy sucker is what I think is really important.

In any case, the lessons that come with travel are life changing~ and you really can't get them any other way.

Like reading, travel can open doors and show you new things. It’s an incomparable hands-on way to get an education that you could never get from the pages of a book, or a movie or even the interweb.

I've learned a lot through all of those other mediums as well, and so have my kids.

But, whenever possible, actually doing something beats reading or watching or listening to what someone else says and does any day.

Travel gives us first hand experiences with different world views and new ways of doing things. Whether it be food or language or just what’s outside your window, things look different when you leave your space that you already know.

It gives you practice in doing things that can be a little uncomfortable or are maybe even a little scary (not legitimately scary where you need to trust your gut, but the kind of scary that keeps you from growing)

Travel helps you to grow.

Often people associate travel with resorts or cruise ships, and immediately find reasons why they “can’t”~ often involving money.

Yes, adventure can certainly be pricey, but it really doesn’t have to be at all.

I’ve been a seriously low budget traveler for most of my life and when I chose to make homeschooling my primary gig for a decade, and putting money schemes on the back burner to simmer in small quantities, well...that didn’t exactly put my family and I in the First Class section of any airplanes.

But I loved homeschooling and the time learning with my kids was worth more to me than the money I could have made.

Thanks to my own mom, I learned at a young age how to hustle with whatever money I did have and make it work towards the kinds of experiences and things I've wanted in my life.

I certainly wasn’t going to give up adventuring just because my income was in the minuscule range.

So instead of pricey tourist traps, I watched TravelZoo for hotel bargains~  or more often, we just used a tent or slept on couches of friends and relatives.

That practice alone helped my kids so much with flexibility and going with the flow.

Sometimes it rains and your tent leaks, or you drive a few hours and the campground is closed. Sometimes your friend has a smelly dog that drools next to you on the couch or they get up crazy early, clanking dishes and talking loudly.

Sometimes you have to make a whole new plan b on the fly, and sometimes you just laugh and laugh about the absurd situation you’re in.

Sometimes, your adventures make you more grateful than ever for your home life.

In any case, you learn to roll with things.

When you’re not at home, you kind of have to learn to be open to new food and be ok with the fact that not everyone makes dishes the same way your mom does.

You learn that some things taste better than they look, and some don’t, and you learn that because you actually tried them.

Eating foods that you’re not used to helps you realize that it’s not that big of a deal if what’s on the menu isn’t your favorite, because you’re probably going to eat again in a few hours.

You learn to consider other people and appreciate what they offer and realize that you really don’t need to complain about what’s different because it’s not always about you.

You also learn that bringing plenty of your own snacks is a good idea.

Self reliance, gratitude, empathy and acceptance are all a built in part of the curriculum.

And then there’s the ability to find entertainment for oneself. A lot of people seem to think that if they don’t have the extra cash to buy everyone tickets to Disneyland, they might as well just stay home and watch Netflix.

I find that sad and untrue.

In almost every place we’ve lived or visited, there have usually been all kinds of things to check out and do for free or on the cheap.

You just have to do a little research, which is absurdly easy in this day and age and most importantly~ be open.

Check out Atlas Obscura or just Google “Free fun with Kids” and whatever city and time frame and viola~ just like magic you’ll come up with things you never knew existed.

We’ve found giant trolls under bridges and huge walls covered in chewing gum this way, not to mention a museum dedicated to the existence of Bigfoot.

Just like everything else in life, some of these things are cheezy and some are awesome~ and many are a mixture of both.

I never found it all that hard to find something interesting for us to check out, and my kids seem to have gotten the idea that all kinds of things in life and the world have potential to hold some interest~ not just their current passions or the latest fad or the most expensive theme parks that are advertised all over.

What I love about this is that they are open, and much more likely to say “sure” when it comes to trying something different than to just write it off as a no because it’s unfamiliar.

They don’t necessarily have the same love for all the same things I do, and they may want to spend more or less time in a place than me, but they're open to learning, and that’s huge.

There are times when you really want to do the popular touristy things that come with the hefty price tag, and that’s where you have to learn to be creative.

We got Disneyland passes for our whole family by volunteering to help at a local soup kitchen. We used the reciprocal privileges from our membership to the local science museum to visit tons of museums in other towns~ some for an hour and some for a day, but all for free.  

Most of the touristy things we did were off season and on sale. That was another of my favorite perks of homeschooling was the freedom from a school calendar and the flexibility to go places off season when the crowds were gone.

I miss that so much now that they are taking college classes!

In their younger years, distance travel was harder, but when we could, we went for it, visiting my father in Costa Rica (thanks Dad!) and family and friends in neighboring states.

Much more often, we just took frequent little day trips to explore what was closest by, and hopefully free or cheap~

the kind of thing that most people can pull off if they actually want to.

Instead of buying fast food or Starbucks, I would put the money in my gas tank and pack a basket of snacks and we would hit the road to explore our own backyard.

The main thing was they went places and they saw things and did things and got used to the idea that it’s a big, beautiful and most of all, a wildly different world.

And with an open mind and some creative planning, there’s a whole lot to see, even without much cash.

It's been noted that traveling with kids can be a bit of a pain in the arse. This can be true, and helping them learn can be a lot of work for you.

But really~ life with kids can be a pain in the arse. Teaching them to do chores or wipe their own butts can also be a lotta work, but if they never learn, it's not going to get any easier.

You've just gotta figure out how to do what's important to you in the big picture, and point towards the easiest and most fun ways to make it happen.

If you're at all a wanderer or have a nomadic spirit, and you tether yourself down because it might be "hard to take your kids"~ well, you're gonna miss out on a lotta fun memories and you might end up bitter and resentful, which nobody wants.

These days, not all of my trips are with my kids, and I’m not along for all of their travels anymore either. They are bigger and have ideas and adventures of their own, which are really exciting for a parent to watch.

The skills of planning ahead and being flexible were planted as seeds when they were tiny, and have been nurtured their whole lives, and I can see them paying off now.

Each time any of us heads out, whether together or separately, I count my blessings, knowing that we’re all explorers at heart, and we know how to find our adventures.

Just like reading, not everyone will end up loving to travel, but knowing HOW to do it will sure come in handy. 

Let us know what creative adventures you're planning with your family this summer in the comments below.

And as always, if you enjoyed this piece, please like it on Facebook, and better yet, comment and share it with a friend!

Happy Travels!

Back in my bed by myself after a breakfast that was not only made by my offspring, but actually looked AND tasted good, I enjoyed the luxury of thinking in silence.

Change is on the wind.
​
As I was sipping coffee that wasn't even reheated but still hot and fresh (a miracle of sorts) I pondered the realization that this will likely be the last Mother's Day like this.

The time when I have humans I created under my roof whom I'm responsible for is coming to a close​.

At some point soon, the only person I’ll have to provide food and shelter for is myself. (Yes, even when the kids all move, I'll still have 2 dogs, a cat, 6 chickens, 3 fish and my SweetHeart living here, but that’s different. He's a grown arse man and my Partner who pulls his own share, which is a whole different ballgame than kids~ and the rest are not humans, so they can only complain in barks, clucks, meows and the occasional destroyed personal property. Again, nothing like children...)

Our brood will soon be flying the coop and out into the world.

It's a strange place of transition that I'm not quite sure what to make of.

There's this vision I've seen (both in real life and popular media) where mother's at my stage of the game are mourning and lamenting the soon to be empty nest as though somehow all meaning is leaving life with the college bound kids.

The thing is... I'm not really feeling that way.

At all.

There are also the parents who are just done and can't wait for their kids to leave~ whether they are 17 and full of hormonal angst or 26 and playing video games in the basement.

I'm definitely not feeling that way either.

This place that I'm at feels a bit more complicated than that.

Thankfully, I still enjoy having them here. And I also know they’re almost ready to go.

I definitely have some nerves along with the occasional doomsday, “I’ll tell you what could possibly go wrong” type of what ifs running through my head (and sometimes out of my mouth.)  

There are also the times of nostalgia for days past, when they were smaller and life seemed somehow simpler.

There are times when I panic that I still have so much I want to share with them that I go on a speed-talking caffeinated rant about tips on adulting until their eyes glaze over and they run into another room to “do math homework” rather than hear anymore.

And there are times when I know that there are things they’ll just have to figure out on their own, no matter how much I want to help.

But mostly, I feel.... Content.

I’m a little surprised that I’m not feeling like I need to stop the clock or wishing I could go back or even jump ahead.

I don’t know if all the self help, make-yourself-all-zen-like books I’ve read have finally kicked in or what, but for the most part, I’m at peace.

More than that, I’m actually really happy with where we’re all at.

And mostly, I  just want to enjoy what’s left.

There’s definitely a jumble of emotions~ but overall, I feel like I did my job of helping them become self reliant adults~  

AND the best part is that they turned out to be pretty awesome and extremely competent people who I actually really like hanging around.

They're also people who are ready to go and do their own things in the world, and from what I can see, I feel like their odds of soaring high are really strong.

After spending so many years with my kids~ funschooling, finding opportunities for creativity and expression, to connect with animals and people of all ages, to delve deep into interests, to travel and explore, to be immersed in nature and exposed to all kinds of culures, to make food and grow plants and care for creatures both very young and very old, to witness first hand the circle of life, I feel like they had a great foundation~

At least it was the best one I could give them.

They've been full sized people for some time, but now they're adults in the legal sense as well, and they're on their way to go do their own things.

Some things they want to do sound like great ideas that I can fully understand and enthusiastically support.

Other schemes they come up with make my eyeballs pop out of my head, and are really, really hard not to freak out about (I may actually fail that part…)

But in the end, I know that they're smart and competent.

They won't just be fine~ they'll be awesome.

And my life won't be over or empty when they go.

It will be awesome too.

I'm a little nervous for them and a whole lot excited for all of us.

And I’ll always be amazed that I've made these awesome human beings.

*******************************

If you connected with this post, please connect in the comments below, and share it with a friend on Facebook! Thank You, Thank You, Thank You!!

If you have any encouraging tips, I'd love those too!

​

Back in my bed by myself after a breakfast that was not only made by my offspring, but actually looked AND tasted good, I enjoyed the luxury of thinking in silence.

Change is on the wind.
​
As I was sipping coffee that wasn't even reheated but still hot and fresh (a miracle of sorts) I pondered the realization that this will likely be the last Mother's Day like this.

The time when I have humans I created under my roof whom I'm responsible for is coming to a close​.

At some point soon, the only person I’ll have to provide food and shelter for is myself. (Yes, even when the kids all move, I'll still have 2 dogs, a cat, 6 chickens, 3 fish and my SweetHeart living here, but that’s different. He's a grown arse man and my Partner who pulls his own share, which is a whole different ballgame than kids~ and the rest are not humans, so they can only complain in barks, clucks, meows and the occasional destroyed personal property. Again, nothing like children...)

Our brood will soon be flying the coop and out into the world.

It's a strange place of transition that I'm not quite sure what to make of.

There's this vision I've seen (both in real life and popular media) where mother's at my stage of the game are mourning and lamenting the soon to be empty nest as though somehow all meaning is leaving life with the college bound kids.

The thing is... I'm not really feeling that way.

At all.

There are also the parents who are just done and can't wait for their kids to leave~ whether they are 17 and full of hormonal angst or 26 and playing video games in the basement.

I'm definitely not feeling that way either.

This place that I'm at feels a bit more complicated than that.

Thankfully, I still enjoy having them here. And I also know they’re almost ready to go.

I definitely have some nerves along with the occasional doomsday, “I’ll tell you what could possibly go wrong” type of what ifs running through my head (and sometimes out of my mouth.)  

There are also the times of nostalgia for days past, when they were smaller and life seemed somehow simpler.

There are times when I panic that I still have so much I want to share with them that I go on a speed-talking caffeinated rant full of helpful tips on adulting until their eyes glaze over and they run into another room to “do math homework” rather than hear any more.

And there are times when I know that some things they’ll just have to figure out on their own, no matter how much I want to help.

But mostly, I feel.... Content.

I’m a little surprised that I’m not feeling like I need to stop the clock or wishing I could go back or even jump ahead.

I don’t know if all the self help, make-yourself-all-zen-like books I’ve read have finally kicked in or what, but for the most part, I’m at peace.

More than that, I’m actually really happy with where we’re all at.

And mostly, I  just want to enjoy what’s left.

There’s definitely a jumble of emotions~ but overall, I feel like I did my job of helping them become self reliant adults~  

AND the best part is that they turned out to be pretty awesome and extremely competent people who I actually really like hanging around.

They're also people who are ready to go and do their own things in the world, and from what I can see, I feel like their odds of soaring high are really strong.

After spending so many years with my kids~ funschooling, finding opportunities for creativity and expression, to connect with animals and people of all ages, to delve deep into interests, to travel and explore, to be immersed in nature and exposed to all kinds of culures, to make food and grow plants and care for creatures both very young and very old, to witness first hand the circle of life, I feel like they had a great foundation~

At least it was the best one I could give them.

They've been full sized people for some time, but now they're adults in the legal sense as well, and they're on their way to go do their own things.

Some things they want to do sound like great ideas that I can fully understand and enthusiastically support.

Other schemes they come up with make my eyeballs pop out of my head, and are really, really hard not to freak out about (I may actually fail that part…)

But in the end, I know that they're smart and competent.

They won't just be fine~ they'll be awesome.

And my life won't be over or empty when they go.

​It will be awesome too.

I'm a little nervous for them and a whole lot excited for all of us.

And I’ll always be amazed that I've made these awesome human beings.



*******************************

If you connected with this post, please connect in the comments below, and share it with a friend on Facebook! Thank You, Thank You, Thank You!!

If you have any encouraging tips, I'd love those too!

​

It’s not often that a song from a 90’s hair band is stuck in my head for 36 hours straight... 

OK, maybe I occasionally get old metal stuck in my head other times too, much to the dismay of my family and anyone who has to listen to me singing along to music only I can hear... But, this occasion was severe~ 

and it also has a point


For the last couple of days, the words “Eighteen and life to go...” have been playing over and over in my head.

It's probably because my youngest birth child became an adult yesterday~ well, at least in the eyes of the law~ I mean, he can vote and buy lottery tickets anyway.

If you’re familiar with Skid Row, I should mention that my son doesn’t have life to go in the prison sense that’s implied in their song. No, nowhere near the tragedy and angst of all that.

Rather, my kid has life to go ~ as in figuring out how to adult.

Which is a different kind of life sentence.

He’s sometimes under the impression that he’s been adulting already and has come up with some hilarious lines such as “Yeah, I pretty much pay all my own bills…” said in all seriousness with a cocky head tilt.

I laughed hysterically for 15 minutes in response.

The kid is very responsible, this is true, and I want to give him credit for that. He pays for half of his car insurance and phone as well as his gas. He also bought his shiny red car with money he saved on his own from working.

But, as every actual adult knows, those aren’t even a fraction of ALL the bills a person has to pay to live as an independent. There’s the big ticket things like an actual place to live and then there’s all the miscellaneous things like food, hot water, electricity and internet. All the things we like and make life comfortable.

He pointed out that he buys a lot of his food too, but that’s really only when he goes out with his friends or decides not to take a lunch to work. He still eats here like 6 times a day, and he consumes more than the rest of us combined, but from his perspective, he’s pretty much independent.

Still, I’m proud of all he HAS done and continues to do on his path to responsible adulting.

The Boy spent his entire birthday doing semi adultish things like college classes, basketball practice and working.

There wasn’t time for a huge coming of age party on the actual day that marked his birth, but we had midnight cupcakes when he wandered in the night before and streamers and hugs and late night blueberry pancakes with bacon when he returned home his responsibilities.

It was a quiet day, which is strange because we’re not quiet people. I might feel sad about the reservedness of it all~ except he just got back from his first road trip without adults, and he’s still got 2 more celebratory parties this week.

So, he's fine.

I can’t help but think back to my own 18th birthday though, and how different the dynamic felt.

I got luggage as a gift from my mom~ perhaps not such a subtle hint, although well suited because I was leaving home to go make my way in the world the next day anyway.

I don’t know how my mom felt about it, and I doubt I ever will, but I do know how I felt.

Excited, nervous, and a bit defiant.

My frame of mind at the time was very much “Eff you!” not to any one person, but more to the world in general ~ as if I thought it was somehow against me.

Those weren’t exactly my best years personality wise~

I did learn to find opportunities and make things work, but I also remember feeling like I was going to have to fight for what I wanted.

I had learned to be good at fighting (with words anyway), and while it’s been handy on occasion, I’m still trying to unlearn some of that today.

What I’ve realized in years since is that the world really isn’t out to get me, and that most of the time, I’ve actually had a whole lotta blessings surrounding me.

Sometimes they showed up out of the blue, and sometimes I worked really hard for them, but more often than not, fighting wasn’t really necessary.

I'm glad to know I can do it when I need to, but I'm even happier to know that I mostly don't need to at all. 


Contrary to how it sometimes feels when reading comments on social media, most people are actually pretty nice in real life.

And often, it’s easier to just ask for what you want than to attack.

Why it took me so many years to realize these things, I don’t know, but now that I understand that there’s often an easy button, I’m all about finding and pushing it.

My Grandmother used to say “You can catch more flies with honey than vinegar”  (Or at least it sounds like something she’d say, even though I’m not 100% sure if she actually ever did.)

In any case, whoever said it was right.

Thankfully, my kids seem to have gotten that understanding at a much younger age than I did. They’re kind and polite, especially to old people, little kids and animals, even if they are not always to each other.

They’re positive thinkers and hard workers, and they sure as heck don’t seem as mad or cynical about the world as I was.

And for that, I’m both grateful and proud.

In fact, looking at my two “Grown-Up-ish” offspring, I don’t think I could be any more proud than I am.

They made it to “adulthood” not just in tact, but Awesome~ inside and out.

I’m way more excited for them than I am nervous because I know that even if they leave their dishes on the couch for 3 days until I start screaming and then say they have homework, they’re really competent and resilient humans who know how to enjoy life.

Getting them to this point of grown-ish has been a really fun journey and we all not only love, but still genuinely LIKE each other.

So, I’m breathing a sigh of relief, saying prayers of gratitude and treating myself to a massage.

I’m also getting the Boy Child a driving experience in a race car so he can go fast in a safe situation~ AND a voter registration pamphlet so he can be a responsible citizen who participates in democracy.

I’m not sure when I’ll stop referring to him as my Boy Child, if ever.

But look out world….here he comes.

How do you release toxicity?

Have you found any healing through art?

I'd love to hear your thoughts on what helps to get the ugly out, because I've seen enough examples to know that pretending it isn't there just doesn't work in the long haul.

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