New Year, Same Old Me

Well, I'm not as old as these Mayan ruins anyway...

Here we are, a week into 2018, and no matter how many advertisements bombard me with “New Year, New You” messages, I have no delusions that a new Pamela is on the way, and no plans of trying to build one either.

Instead, I’m just planning on being nice to the same old me that has been here, showing up for the last 46 years, occasionally late and scattered, but almost always full of big (and possibly crazy) ideas.

I’m telling myself that I’m like a fine wine that gets better with age, but it’s possible that I really just gave all my effs away in my twenties, and I no longer have any to spare.

Either way, I’m pretty happy now with who I am and where I’m at, and I like where I’m going too.

I used to be fearful that contentment would lead to stagnancy, but I no longer think that it necessarily does.

It’s actually a lot more fun to enjoy where you’re at while looking forward to the road ahead, than it is to use dissatisfaction as motivation, that’s for sure.

The other night I was watching my son play high school basketball, and the other team was losing quite badly. They were good sports and trying hard, but they were outmatched, and even though they kept at it, giving it their all, their coach just berated them, no matter what. We watched the kids’ eyes dim and their spirits wilt as they tried to block out the coaches negativity and focus on playing.

I found myself cheering for those kids, even though they were the “other” team. I even had an internal mom moment of wanting to go buy them all cookies or something, and to give that coach a talking to about being so stinking mean, but to avoid mortifying everyone involved, I didn’t.

It was pretty obvious though that the tactics of that angry coach weren’t helping. Unfortunately, he was too caught up in what was wrong to see that he was making it worse.

Sadly, a lot of people talk to themselves the way that coach talks to those kids.

I’ve done it myself and the things is, it never has helped.

Not once.

It has however led me down roads to stress, anxiety, and rage, all of which are entirely unpleasant states that leave me and everyone in my wake feeling awful, not to mention the scary looks it imprints on my face, complete with angry eyebrows, wrinkled forehead and all.

For the good of myself, and the world around me, I’d rather avoid that if possible.

I’m all over no BS straight talk and working to improve things, but I’m not into having the negative, mean attitude attached to it. I think progress and improvement warrants at least as much, no actually *more* focus than what’s wrong does.

Which is why I’m recognizing all my baby steps and not just tallying my failures.

In doing my 2017 year end review, I was glad to come across many more things that worked well than those that didn’t. There were some mess ups for sure, including a couple of biggish ones and some things that got neglected and forgotten (like this blog...whoopsie) but more so, there were lots and lots of wonderful things that made up an amazing year.

Traveling, teaching, learning, creating and good times with the people I love.

And as I head into 2018, those things that I’m most grateful for are what I’m wanting more of.

More laughter.

More joy.

More creativity,

And lots more love.

I wish all of those for you too.

So, for 2018, the same old me will be here dreaming and scheming, and growing along the way. I hope you’ll join me!

Happy New Year!