Who Do They Think I Am?

As fascinating, creepy, and often hilarious as it is, I have to admit, I really don’t understand Internet marketing.

I know it’s not a person who decides exactly what we all get to see, but some creepy crawler program that uses mathematical algorithms specifically targeted based on searches and views and blah, blah, blah.

I want to understand and believe in logical processes like math, and sometimes it makes sense, even if it is a little disturbing. I map out how far it is to drive to another city in one window, and when I click back to Facebook, they’re showing me ads for hotels in that city.

But other times, it so far off base, I can’t even understand what happened. I’m left questioning their math and wondering, 
who in the heck do these marketers think I am?

Here’s a bit of what I’ve been subjected to…..

A while ago, Geico sent me this email…..

Not sure if this road rage prevention article was for all their customers, or if I’m just profiled as the road rage type.  Hmmm....

Single mom of teens who has been known to chronically run late...OK, I guess that could lead to some temper problems. Maybe there is some logical reasoning there.

OK, never mind..... maybe that’s not the best example...


***

But then, there’s this….the latest not-so-well-targeted ad to appear on my screen...

Eyebrow transplants?!? Seriously?  Anyone who has ever seen my eyebrows is aware that they are anything but scarce. I HAVE PLENTY OF EYEBROWS!….I could probably even share with everyone.

Maybe they meant to send me the donor recruitment ad, but there was a mix up? 

***

Next, something creepy, albeit funny... A while back, my Girl Child and her friends watched the original “Rosemary’s Baby." The next morning, Netflix sent me this…..

Nice...I’m not even sure what to do with that question.

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Amazon also likes to make suggestions for me, and recommended these colorful champagne glasses...

...For $3000!!!!   
Oh, but shipping is free. That makes perfect sense in that case.

Really? Based on my browsing history, I could see how they would think I liked sparkly things, rainbows or even champagne. But $3000 for glasses? 


Apparently they aren’t aware that I prefer drinking from mason jars (a trait I picked up before the hipsters did because jars are less likely to tip over, and don’t break as easily if you do have an oops. Oh yeah, and they're free with purchase of things I eat.)

Anyhow, I have owned cars that cost less than those glasses, and driven my children across 5 states in them. So, No. I don't think those are on my shopping list anytime soon.

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Facebook also has targeted ads, and for some reason keeps showing me these pants~

No. Just No. Not even for 60 % off. Not even for free. 

I had a pair of Hammer pants in the early 90’s, but I’m not really ready to revisit that part of my life. OK, maybe if I was going to be I Dream of Jeannie for Halloween, or if I was ever to need a bellydancing outfit, but I’m thinking probably no.

But wait… There’s more….

STOP! Hammer Time! 
These babies are not just Hammer pants~ they’re full on MC Hammer JumpSuits!! 
Hammer Jumpers!

Why would they think I would like those???? Why would they even make them?

What the heck Facebook?

(No offense to anyone who likes or owns these pants. I’m sure they’re really comfy, but the marketers have totally missed the mark on thinking that they’re for me. Because they're not.)

Anyhoo, my Grandma told that if I didn’t have anything nice to say, I shouldn’t say anything at all, and I’m realizing none of this is all that nice. But, I’ve already typed it up, have nothing else, and am overdue on this post. Besides, I thought it was all kind of amusing.

Sorry Grandma. (I actually think she would have enjoyed laughing at some of this ridiculousness if she were here with me)

I do hope you enjoy as well, and since likes, comments, and shares all help this Zesty Mom make her way into the great big world, please, do tell.... I’d love and love you'd like to send my way, and to hear what funny things have popped up on your screens as well in the comments below. 

Take Care~