Plumbing Problems~ Be Careful What You Wish For

I love the crazy things my offspring have come up with~ wishes, plans, and hare brained schemes. 

A lot of them just fall into the category of "Kids Say the Funniest Things" and others are more along the lines of "I can't friggen believe you just said that." 

But once in a while, even kids realize that one really should be careful what they say, let alone what they wish for. 

For example, when a little boy wishes that his mom would just lighten up and let him poop in a hole in the back yard, he may years later find himself without a flushing toilet, and realize that his dream no longer sounds as fun as he had once thought it would be.

You see, we live in the woods. The back woods you might even say. My kids have grown up very familiar with nature and natural functions and life processes and all that.

When my kids were little, and would play for hours outside, they thought I was quite unreasonable for requesting that they actually come inside to use the bathroom. By their reasoning, there were acres of perfectly poopable land around them. Besides, the cats, dogs, goats, ducks and chickens all pooped out there. (Moms can be so stifling, I know)

For the record, I can completely understand exceptions when back country camping with no facilities available, but if there's an indoor bathroom around, I just think that's where humans should do their business.  I have a sneaking suspicion that there were occasions when I had my head buried in a book, or was gabbing on the phone, and the ground I was attempting to hold was fertilized by humanure though. Crazy kids. (....)

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Anyhoo~ fast forward to now. My kids are no longer little and no longer find the idea of pooping outside to be alluring. They are in fact quite happy to use indoor restrooms, and they don't really talk about it at all anymore.

Well,  we recently got back from a super fun and exhausting homeschooling adventure at 1 o clock in the morning, and I noticed a strange gurgling / sucking sound of air and water coming from my kids' bathroom. The sound was the toilet, which apparently become clogged unbeknownst to my house sitter and it ran and ran until it drained all the water from the well, and continued to run faster than the well could pump more water.

I screamed. Literally. Dropped a big F bomb. (I remember a time when I was a non cussing mom. Sorry kids, those days are over) After going down to shut the power off to the well pump, so as not to blow that up too, I came in and wailed for a bit about how sick I am of this Little House on the Prairie / country living ordeal. 

The cats and dogs were meowing and thirsty and I gave them what was left in my water bottle. Then, I went to bed because I had to get up in a few hours for some unpleasant appointments and a funeral. And I had no friggen water.

No water means no showers, no washing dishes, hands or clothes, no brushing teeth, NO FLUSHING TOILETS! 

Fortunately, I have the best neighbors in the entire world (and I really do wish there was a way to take them with me when I move) and I was able to at least wash my stinking carcass before my first appointment. I came home from that mess to roust my offspring for the funeral of the day. The kids were frankly concerned, not only about showers, but how and where we would handle other water related needs~ like using the bathroom~ without any water. 

I was mentally drained, but luckily my Boy Child came to the rescue with humor.

"Remember when I used to want to poop in a hole outside all the time?"

I just laughed like a hysterical mad woman who could benefit from medication or institutionalization... or maybe both.

"Well, I guess I should be careful what I wish for!" 

Gotta love that kid.

Anyhoo, somehow, the laughter must have given my weary mind enough of an oxygen boost to come up with a plan to avoid outdoor pooping while we waited for a plumber. We could bucket water from the pool into the back of the toilet tank, and make it flush.

I felt like a genius. Although I also felt like I was living in a parallel universe, not knowing one other woman living in California in the year 2014 who hauls water in buckets so they can use the bathroom indoors. I mean I'm glad we didn't have to resort to a chamber pot and I fully understand that millions of people have way harder water deals than I do~ like life or death ones~ but still, looking around at the people I know in real life, this situation was pretty friggen lame. 

After two separate plumbers never returned my call, I Googled away and came to my own rescue, probably saving a big chunk of cash in the process. Another helpful neighbor came by and inspected my work (since I wasn't really all that confident in my home repair skills) and sure enough, we were happily back in the indoor bathroom business!

While I would really prefer to learn lessons in easier ways that don't involve things like losing running water, I'll take what I got from the ordeal. 

1) Even during major pain in the butt lame days, we are really blessed with people and resources to fix things.

2) I'm handier than I knew, and can find ways to make things work.

And 3) As my Boy Child said, Be Careful What You Wish For!