But these days, life has been showing me that there are times when you can't just tell someone to eff off and be done with it.
Of course, I've known that in my rational mind for a long time, and really, the actual saying of eff off most often only happened in my head anyway~ but still...the ability to wave and walk away has been something I've long appreciated. Whether you smile or yell when eliminating a connection, it's sure nice to have the option of severing things.
But sometimes, for whatever reason, a person has to have ongoing negotiations and interactions with people and situations they don't necessarily want to be involved with. If you're trying to do it in a way that doesn't feel toxic and cause angry eyebrow wrinkles, it requires a whole heck of a lot of skills.
I will admit that I have lacked these skills. So, in trying to work out how to deal with such things, I sought out the words of wisdom from people who have some expertise. It quickly became apparent that learning to set healthy boundaries would be an important step in avoiding feeling venomous.
One of the most valuable things that anyone has said to me in regards to boundaries and interacting with people and situations you're not terribly fond of, is to keep your boundaries firm & friendly.
I have to say this is quite a concept for me. Firm AND Friendly. Like, at the same time? (........)